Amazon

I know it’s just a shopping outlet but after fleeing abuse and going into refuge/shelter Amazon removing my reviews and stopping me doing more was a very big trigger for me. 
This spiralled me into depression and questioning how stupid I am for breaching their rules and put me back to how I was In abuse. I was crying non stop and mentally name calling myself and I was on complete melt down for a day. Still not over it but learnt to shake it off better and say oh well I did nothing wrong and it’s not me. 

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Help!

I feel like I’m drowning at the moment. My mother has been diagnosed with lymphoma but a slow growing one thankfully. I have debt from financial abuse and have needed to start over with just the clothes on my back. My son is in need of a laptop and camera for school as well as furniture for the house so set up a fund me account if anyone can help. Really be grateful.  fundme

Loneliness

What No One Tells You About

I still get lonely from time to time but it is nothing of the loneliness of my own marriage. How can you be in bed with someone and feel completely alone?
He used to be my everything, but over the years he had stripped me down to nothing. I left him once six years prior to our marriage ending. I packed everything in less than a day. Passed him once as I transported mine and the children’s things over to my parents, he just looked at me but there was no response from him. It was like I was a stranger and I guess I was for him. He just wanted a woman to fuck and nothing more. That was all I had become. I would have said making love but there was no love in the act no more, so that is what we did, whether I wanted it…

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Red Flags You are Dating an Abuser

Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse

Here is a list of red flags that may help you to see early on that you are with an abusive personality. If you are seeing a few of these characteristics then you need to assert some boundaries with them and see how they react.

If they fight you about having simple personal boundaries then you need to realize that you may be in an abusive relationship. 

Tell them you have to go sleep early one night because you have a lot to do the next day. If they do not accept this, then there is a problem.

No one should give you guilt or shame you that you are not good to them, when you are doing simple basic things to take care of yourself.

It is not normal for someone to threaten to leave you or call you a bad girlfriend if you want to do things for…

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No more

I always question my actions and find it hard with the smallest put downs. I feel sick and it is like I have missed a step going down. My heart races and I start reevaluating what I did wrong. It is out of proportion to the act or the put down. My ex only swore when he was in a rage and thankfully never used the c word, but I had slut and whore with his eyes full of hate. The constant checking up on everything I did. Accusing me of affairs, poisoning him, I couldn’t even allow our daughter to learn to swim as I was “shagging one of the dad’s”.
I freak out if my security been breached even a little bit which is why I am shocked I am doing this blog. I want to help, even though sometimes I feel myself dragged back in. Today was hard for me. To see members on a group being attacked by trolls was hard. I hate bulling at the best of times but why would people target victims of abuse I just don’t get. It is all sorted now but I know it has triggered me and I take a deep breath and will not let them beat me or others if I am there to stop it.
I am no longer that person that cowered in fear and I refuse to let others try now. I had it easy compared to some I know but the one thing I been taught is we all share similar scars. No matter what we been through we formed life time friendships and an understanding that no other person has the right to control, hit or rape us just because they are our partner. No parent has the right to put us down or to lay a finger on us in hate. We have overcome and we say no more.

What No One Tells You About

I always question my actions and find it hard with the smallest put downs. I feel sick and it is like I have missed a step going down. My heart races and I start reevaluating what I did wrong. It is out of proportion to the act or the put down. My ex only swore when he was in a rage and thankfully never used the c word, but I had slut and whore with his eyes full of hate. The constant checking up on everything I did. Accusing me of affairs, poisoning him, I couldn’t even allow our daughter to learn to swim as I was “shagging one of the dad’s”.
I freak out if my security been breached even a little bit which is why I am shocked I am doing this blog. I want to help, even though sometimes I feel myself dragged back in. Today was…

View original post 168 more words

domestic abuse, emotional abuse, Survivors